Almost Divorced

Tuesday 4th January, 2005
Well, after over 3 years of separation, I'm almost divorced.

I just don't know what to do about my wedding photographs. We had 2 albums, a big official one done by a professional and another small book of "snaps" taken by a family friend. My wife took the small album when she left, leaving me with the big one.

I'm just not sure what to do with the large one now, my wife and I both wanted it originally...but do I really?

On one hand, it was a nice day and the pictures contain some nice memories. I plan to re-marry in the future however which is going to usurp this album somewhat and any future partner is not really going to treasure the memories I have in the cupboard.

On the other hand, my mother has died since the wedding and it's the only wedding pictures I'm going to have her in. For that reason alone, I'm tempted to keep hold of them.

The options as I see them:
  • Split the album and keep the pic with my mom in - Give the remainded to my ex.
  • Get reprints of the appropriate pics, although at a cost - Give the remainder to my ex.
  • Give up all the pics - I have loads of pictures of my mom and any associated with the wedding may not be appropriate.
  • Keep the whole album - My ex can get reprints as she wishes.
  • Scan the appropriate pics - Difficult as they're 10 x 10

I'm thinking of option 2 right now, but will need to see if a reprint is possible.

I'd appreciate any comments you might have from your own experiences.

  1. 1) Ben Poole Said: (05/01/2005 17:39:15 GMT) Gravatar Image
    Almost Divorced

    You should keep it; my policy is always to hang on to stuff like this. Regardless of subsequent events, your wedding day was important, and as you say, the album contains pictures of your late mother. You can then splt the album / do whatever at a later date.

  2. 2) Lars Olufsen Said: (23/02/2005 14:32:02 GMT) Gravatar Image
    Almost Divorced

    I agree ... hang on to it.

    Just because it went sour down the line, doesn't mean it wasn't good times back in the day.

    Embrace your past. You did your best, for all the right reasons. Nothing wrong in that.

    The pain related to the memories will fade, and you'll be glad you kept them.

    Unless - of course - she's a terrible and evil b*tch, in which case I suggest massive amounts of alcohol, loud playing of music you love and she loathes, and ritually burning the photographs while chanting curses. ;o)

  3. 3) James Bulkice Said: (30/03/2005 16:33:49 GMT) Gravatar Image
    Almost Divorced

    I am with you. See me with you.

  4. 4) Al Said: (30/03/2005 16:34:44 GMT) Gravatar Image
    Almost Divorced

    Hey there, how you holding up? Have a look at www.powerisastateofmind.com might be wirth it.

  5. 5) Bob (aka Anonymous coward) Said: (29/04/2005 02:54:25 GMT) Gravatar Image
    Almost Divorced

    Recently got divorced myself. I had a very elaborate wedding album. I am now engaged to a new wonderful girl whom i want to create new memories with. I was in the same dilemma.

    What do i do with the old album ? I think of a few things. Is destroying it the same as denying the past ? Is keeping it a sign of an in-ability to move on ? Just throwing it out gave me a feeling of dis-respect towards the values and memories i once had ? I have actually never looked at it since I was divorced and wonder then why i keep it ? I came to the conclusion, that I should forget all the freudian crap, and I kept it for a while, as long as it didn't bother me and my new partner. If you can openly talk about it to your family then they may help you come to solution that will give you peace of mind.

    In my case I turfed it out eventually into the rubbish because the event of divorce, although traumatic at the time, will fade to insignificance as time passes and you (eventually) settle down with a new partner and have many new happy memories. Letting go and accepting the failure was probably the hardest thing to come to grips with in the end. But with letting go, comes a sense of renewal and a new beginning with a great deal of wisdom from past experience. Generally, learning from your failures and applying them to your current endeavours yields the greatest success....

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